I Can’t Hang

Orientation week was long, tiring, early, and really amazing. The attitudes of the people I work with, the openness to learning, and the touching stories make me so proud to be a nurse. I’m still battling feeling frustrated, overbooked, and anxious since everything is so new.  I realized that I have a lot to learn and I really need to pay attention to policies and procedures and not rush things in order to get it right until I get comfortable. 

Tomorrow is my first learning day on the floor and I’ll be up by 5 in the morning and won’t be done until 12 hours later. Fortunately, I will have Tuesday off but it will be dedicated to my online class and probably laundry and groceries.

I’m struggling with finishing these 2 online courses for my BSN. These classes feel never-ending and after a long day of work the last thing I want to do is work on an assignment. The weekends are the same way. All day Saturday I feel guilty and like I should be working on my BSN courses but I end up doing something fun instead. Then on Sunday, I wake up in a frenzy and start trying to get things done. For example, yesterday I hung out with my husband and went to a bar and a restaurant with him….I decided I needed a break after the long week but couldn’t help but feel that twinge of guilt the entire time. I should have been doing laundry, groceries, shopping for scrubs, and doing homework….but who wants to do all that on a Saturday? This morning, I woke up around 8 AM while my husband snored in bed until about 11 AM (I’m jealous..). I drove to a scrubs shop only to find out that they didn’t open until noon on Sundays. So I got some breakfast, and picked up some half-off valentine’s treats at Walgreens. I went home and worked on an assignment and then back to the Scrubs store. I spent about 2 hours trying on different scrubs. I wanted scrubs I would be really comfortable in. I found 3 great pairs and even got 2 of the tops monogrammed with my initials. I got new compression socks, scissors, and a badge holder that says, “Get Well”. Later on, I need to find some kind of light up device for when I switch to nights. It took me about 3 hours in total. Then, I went home and napped for a bit–trying to get all the rest I can while I can. 

Now it’s 8 pm and hubs was working and not thinking about dinner so I suggested defrosting some meat and cooking but he insisted on picking up dinner. I told him that I wished he had gotten the meat out of the freezer while I was napping and tried to wake me up for dinner earlier since eating so late when you have to get up at 5 am probably isn’t a good idea. Basically, I can’t hang living like I used to while working, keeping up with my ADLs (laundry, cleaning, groceries), and doing 2 online classes. I want life to be a little more structured but I also want a break!

Not sure if this issue will get resolved. Maybe after I’m done with my online classes in 2 months? When is the last time you had a weekend that was totally free?


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