Almost 38 weeks

I’ve taken maternity leave a little earlier than I originally thought I would. Two RNs that have recently had babies on my floor both warned me not to do this because I would miss out on time with the baby. I felt like I was pushing myself too hard at the end especially with our low staffing right now. Also, I care about my patients and want the best for them. I also want the best for my daughter. I found myself asking myself, “What are you doing here?” So I had to bow out at about 37 weeks. I’d like to have another baby in a couple years but I would wait until after my contract is over on my current floor because I find working in critical care extremely emotionally and physically demanding. I’m very lucky that my parents and mother-in-law have agreed to watch Lizzie for me about once a week when I go back to work. I plan working 2 weeknights and 1 weekend night, so daddy would have Lizzie duty on the weekend day and night.

In other news, at my last appointment I found out that Lizzie is still transverse and measuring a bit small. They checked her belly, heart, and kidneys and she is healthy. I’m pretty sure Lizzie has gained at least a pound since her last appointment. I would not at all be surprised-I’m big and I’m hungry! I’m not too worried about her being small and plan on just listening to my body. Because she’s transverse, they scheduled me for a C-section 2 days before her due date. I definitely wanted to avoid a C-section and have been seeing a chiropractor and doing exercises to get her to turn. I don’t think she has turned yet and I’ll continue to crawl and pelvic tilt and all those fun things.

I asked lots of moms for their opinions on what I should do-push back the C-section and wait, or not. I had passionate responses on both sides. One mom wanted me to wait until 42 weeks to see if Lizzie would turn on her own and to join a club that promoted VBACs and prevented C-sections. Some moms had good C-section experiences and some had horrible experiences. One of my RN friends suggest not waiting until after 40 weeks because the placenta starts to deteriorate over time.

I think I’m very moderate when it comes to birth and childrearing. I’m pro vaccines, and vitamin K injections, and screening tests, but I want delayed cord clamping, kangaroo care and breastfeeding attempts as soon as possible after birth. Am I completely against all C-sections? No, I think there are occasions when C-sections are medically necessary and babies might stay transverse or breech for good reasons-like what if the cord is wrapped around the baby’s neck (they checked her heart rate and breathing at my last OB appointment and all was well but this is a huge fear of mine).  I think I actually have more negative feelings about getting induced than a scheduled C-section after 39 weeks. Overall, I’m getting really tired of unsolicited advice and judgmental opinions.  I asked for feedback and I’m glad people responded to me with their own experiences but I think I need to stop doing certain things. I’m not going to update people who aren’t in my immediate family anymore on my progress and I need to stop going to the babycenter community forum and reading posts.

Moms on the babycenter website are always asking about ways to naturally induce. I understand why they are asking and I sympathize. Many women on there are 40 plus weeks and so tired of being pregnant. Some women ask who are around 37/38 weeks and they get totally reamed for even thinking such a thought. I think that the community should try and educate these women on the benefits of allowing the baby at least 39 weeks to fully develop their heart, lungs, and kidneys. It should be stressed that due dates aren’t a perfect science so it’s better to listen to your own body first and foremost. I just can’t stand the negativity and the reaming other moms. Moms should support each other even if they have different opinions on child birthing and rearing.

Everyone is different and we all need support. I just can’t take reading or hearing anymore unsolicited advice and negativity. It’s hard enough being at the end of a long pregnancy.

Until this baby makes her debut, I’m going to keep distracting myself with chiropractic and OB appointments, grocery trips, possibly a mani/pedi, nesting, and Parks and Recs marathons on netflix. I’m trying to stay strong and not feel guilty over any judgment people may have. I believe in making the best decision for me and my family personally. That’s the best anyone can do.

End rant. I feel better now.

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34 Weeks

Things I’ll miss about pregnancy:

-Baby kicks.

-Being amazed by what your body is capable of.

-Discovering a variety of caffeine free sodas and drinks.


-Eating pretty much whatever you want.

-Baby showers.

-The excitement shared by everyone you meet, your spouse, and family.

-Imagining what your baby will look like.

-Maternity clothes.

-Guessing games-the baby’s sex, due date, etc.

-An excuse to stay in and nap sometimes.

-Not needing an alcoholic beverage or super caffeinated beverage because you are used to declining them.

What I’m looking forward to:

-Having a satisfying pee. If you’ve been pregnant, you know what I mean.

-Being able to see your baby and not wonder why they are so quiet on the inside sometimes.

-Finding out my baby’s personality and seeing how much hair they have (I can’t wait..)


-Having more energy.

-Being able to do more physical things without worrying about the baby (lifting, turning patients at work, changing positions).

-A glass of red wine.

-Drinking the french roast sometimes.

-Baby milestones and mommy milestones (getting back to normalish bodywise).

-Eating sushi again (will have to see breastfeeding rules..).

-Having your bowels work more normally.

-Being able to hold and kiss your baby.

-Getting to use all the baby equipment, clothes, and toys you have collected.

-Getting to relive your childhood in many ways.

6 weeks is a long time to wait but I will enjoy Christmas with my family, alone time with my husband, nesting, and the perks of being an 8.5-9 month pregnant lady. There is no time like the present.

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Third Trimester Blues

This weekend I became 27 weeks pregnant and I turned thirty. It was always my goal to start having children by the time I was 30 so I just barely made it.

The weekend overall, was fantastic.  Although I was recovering from a really horrible week at work. I had my first patient die while another patient was being extremely rude and demanding towards me. Then, I got a new admit while I was trying to get everything else wrapped up. I ended up bawling while giving meds…my new admit was a confused, dementia patient and I think she said something like, “Don’t let that man get to you.”  It was kind of funny in a sad way.  In the few shifts prior to that I had a morbidly obese patient who got out of bed at 4am and pulled all his IVs out.  He was bleeding everywhere and I could do was yell at him to get back in bed so I could clean him up.  Prior to that, I had a dementia patient that was combative…at one point I refused to go in her room.  As a pregnant lady, there are certain types patients that I don’t get such as ones on Airborne precautions, but there are all kinds of patients on my floor that need to be taken care of that are very demanding physically.  It’s hard for me to scale back with these people but I think I’ve been pretty good about where I draw the line.

After spending that one night at work bawling, I don’t think I’ve been emotionally stable since. It’s not like I’m thinking about that night or anything but I just feel down.  Also, my sleep schedule has been completely wonky and I’m going through this thing where my brain is in a cloud. I’m clumsy and forgetful and it’s so frustrating. I always thought that forgetfulness in pregnancy was a myth until now.

I’m also anxious and I feel like there is so much to do. I’m also constantly worried about my baby. I have anterior placenta so I only feel her occasionally but she sleeps a lot and it doesn’t feel like she’s on a set schedule. I know at 28 weeks pregnant woman are supposed to be able to feel 10 movements in a hour when the baby is active…not sure that is happening for me. I’m so happy to finally be pregnant but I’m a worriwart about my little girl.

So enough of the crappy stuff. I went to this awesome southern restaurant called, “Cask and Larder” for my birthday.  We started with these gourmet deviled eggs with caviar, and toast with pimiento cheese spread (sooo addicted lately).  Then, for the main course I had this tender, decadent rabbit dish. All the food was so rich and decadent that it filled you up. I got a little pastry since it was my birthday but we were all too full for dessert so I passed it around.  It was fantastic.

Then, we went to my parent’s house for cake and handing out candy. We watched this old timey, ridiculous Halloween movie that my parents’ said would be something you would see in the drive-through back in the day. Basically there were nude, undead people running around and it just got silly.

B and I came home and decided to watch another movie that night. It was called, “Odd Thomas” and was about a man who had premonitions and could speak with the dead. He ended up saving an entire mall of people and of course there was a love story in there too. I also ended up a bawling mess all over my husband this night. Thanks, hormones.

Saturday was awesome! We had family over to watch football and I got on this cooking binge to get my mind off my crappy feelings-that day I cooked Chicken Pot Pie soup, an apple crisp with our Georgia apples, and buffalo chicken dip (I’m obsessed..). B made pumpkin seeds that were so good and got some cheap candy left over from Halloween. The Gators, who have been playing horribly for the last few week, actually did an amazing job and won against Georgia. It was a birthday miracle and the perfect day.

Yesterday, we went and voted and then did some shopping for Lizzie. We got her a rug and lamp shade. Next paycheck, we’d like to get her a mattress for her crib and I need to get started on baby shower invites ASAP. At least, I have plenty to do while this mood hopefully passes.

Pregnancy is beautiful but there are rough patches. I cannot lie.

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Update Extraordinaire

Time for a little update. It’s been AWHILE.

Things got really busy but fun. For my dad’s 63rd birthday, we went and stayed in a beautiful cabin in Blue Ridge, Georgia for 4 days. We also went about 5-6 years ago and had a blast. The first time we went, B and I went white water rafting, rock finding, drinking beer out on the porch, and hottubbing. This time I was pregnant so I napped, ate smores/tons of food-lots of BBQ, went and saw Amicalola falls (700 feet tall!), went to an awesome pumpkin patch, and shopped at Mercier Orchards ( for apples, sparkling cider, and the best pecan, cherry, apple, etc. pies you will ever taste. Apparently, they have a contract with Chic-fil-la now.

It was a bit hard though because I worked the night before we left so I slept in the car all day on the way there. Then, we could only stay for 4 days because my sister and I had to get back to work. After a wedding recently in the Atlanta area and this trip to Blue Ridge, I can tell you that I won’t be driving to Georgia and back any time soon. I’d have to fly and that’s saying a lot with all the Ebola training going on at work right now.

The next few weeks were a bit chaotic. We went about 3 weeks without buying groceries or catching up on completely on laundry because our schedules went like this: work, Blue Ridge, work, gator game, work, and gator game this weekend. I’m so happy to say that I switched my schedule around with a coworker and had 2 days off this week to do all our laundry, clean, and restock our groceries. Amazingly I even got a chance to cook! Yesterday, I made lamb shanks with  roasted garlic mashed potatoes and brought it to work (omg, I was getting so tired of cafeteria food at 2 am at work) and today B and I made a steak salad. Now, I’m 25 weeks pregnant and starting to get in some serious nesting mode around the house.

B and I finally sat down and picked a car seat, stroller, and crib out. We still have to pick a mattress and purchase these items but at least we finally started! I am also getting this adorable dresser that I found on craigslist refinished in one of our nursery colors and it should be ready soon! So excited! Next week, I have my glucose testing and we have our first baby class at my hospital system. Unfortunately, I also have to fit some work training, a work meeting, and work education in and that may be somewhat of a pain.  I also need to buy baby shower invitations at some point. I’m ready for a couple weekends away from football to nest like a huge, puffy bird.

In other news, the FMLA I applied for at work due to all my first trimester complications was not approved because I have not yet worked there one full year. So, I am just taking it week by week but have stayed healthy with no issues and thankfully, haven’t had to miss anymore days. My baby’s health comes first but she is doing well.  Lately, I’ve been extremely tired and extremely hungry. I’ve never been one to fall asleep while watching TV, in a car, or with a light on in the room. I’ve always been a light sleeper…but lately I can snooze almost anywhere. Also, after my head hits the pillow in 5 minutes I’m out like a light. With food, I’m always hungry….luckily, I don’t have ton of cravings but I just crave real homemade food.

Some miscillaneous pregnany symptoms I’ve had include really dry skin. My face is actually peeling and no, I did not get sunburned. I used to have very oily skin and now have to use a strong moisturizer. Also, I ummm have some constipation issues at times and that is not fun. This may be due to my prenatal vitamin. I did get all nursey though and bought some miralax. It’s tasteless, you can add it to any drink, and it works! Go Miralax! Because you know that I take huge pride in making sure everyone poops at work so I guess I can use that at home now (p.s. I’m an RN).

Because I haven’t done one in too long:

Pregnancy Questionnaire
How far along: 25 weeks
Total Weight Gain/Loss: I’ve gained but I don’t pay much attention to the scale. I just eat when I’m hungry and walk for 12 hours, 3 times a week at work.

Maternity clothes: I went shopping with my mom, sister, and later with my prego friend, Angie. Omg…love Old Navy-got a skirt, 2 pairs of maternity jeans, shirts, a gameday dress, a few long-sleeved shirts, soft maternity underwear, etc. I’m in love with my clothes right now and have had to stop myself from buying more. There is nothing more comfortable than maternity clothes!

Stretch marks: The ones on my belly are dark and bigger red now. Ugh!!! I’m all out of tummy butter and need to buy more….I’m sort of depressed about them.

Sleep: I sleep like it’s my second job and naps are my life. I actually fell asleep at a tailgate this past weekend surrounded by tons of loud, beer-ponging tailgators. It was actually a refreshing 20 minute nap. No shame in the game. I slept until about 3 pm after work last night and then fell asleep again tonight from around 11 pm until 3 am and now I’m wide awake!

Best moment last week: Best moments are just how the baby is more active in my belly. Unfortunately, I can never get my husband to feel her but I love feeling her shift all around! I hope she gets bigger and does this more and more.

Movement: Not really kicking but shifting a ton. Also, a few times I’ve noticed spots on my tummy have gotten harder like maybe it’s her head or butt..I’m not sure.

Food cravings: Real homemade food that requires cooking..better than any restaurant for me right now. Also, chocolate chip cookies and string cheese.

Gender: It’s a girl!! We are close to picking a name!

Labor signs: Thankfully, none.

Belly button – in or out? Innie still.

What I miss: Red wine and having more energy. This remains the same. Also, being able to move more really heavy things. Ever since my subchorionic hematoma I’ve been really careful. I’m someone who likes to get things done and I hate sitting back watching other people and not being able to help…it really sucks.

What I am looking forward to: Nesting-decorating the nursery and a baby shower in December. Can’t wait!

Milestones: My baby’s chances of surviving outside the womb are improving with each week! I’m a paranoid mom already and it makes me calm down a bit to know this is true.

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The good, the bad, and my girl

So I think over the past couple of weeks I’ve become the most annoying patient at my OB office.  Just doing my part to be that paranoid, don’t-know-what-the-hell-I’m-doing first-time mom.

First, there was the quad screen that took over 2 weeks to get the results. I called and they said they would call the lab. Repeat this process and few times and finally the results got posted on the online patient portal and everything is normal!

But that’s not all mom was worried about….a week ago I started feeling very small shifting movements but they were tiny.  Then, I didn’t feel them for a few days and got a little freaked out.  So I called my OB after a night shift one morning and they told me to come in that day.  I set my alarm on my phone but for some reason, the alarm never went off.  I called them as soon as I woke up and the nurse was basically scoffing at me and being very rude so of course, I do what any hormonal, pregnant woman would do and I started crying.  I went in the next day and we had an ultrasound-everything was fine and my girl looks great!

The OB explained that I have an anterior placenta and it may not be until later on in the pregnancy until I feel movements and then at the very end when there isn’t much room left, I won’t feel quite as much movement.  She also reminded me that they don’t start counting movements until 25 weeks.  Then, I decided to go ahead and complain about the nurse I talked to on the phone, which isn’t something I would normally do.  My OB was very kind and mentioned how some people take their outside stress with them to work and how that isn’t OK.  I don’t like to get people “in trouble” but I feel like staff working at an OB office should be especially sensitive to their patients because we are all hormonal and kind of emotionally fragile.  Obviously, I’ve had some major anxiety after the subchorionic hematoma incident and have been very overly sensitive and a bit paranoid about things. My new mantra is now, “I’m OK, you’re OK, we’re all OK.”

I say that but…this weekend I started having some lovely UTI symptoms-going more than usual, feeling like my bladder isn’t completely empty, and I’m going into the OB today and already called into work for tonight.  Sheesh..thank GOD it’s nothing serious and thank GOD I don’t have any problems that would put me on bedrest or threaten the pregnancy or anything that so many other women go through.  I’m thankful for a healthy little girl and although I’ve missed work more than I would otherwise and I’m overly anxious, I’m so happy that I’m going to be a mom to a precious baby girl.

This weekend we bought a fan for the nursery and a closet organizer. We’re not sure the room is hooked up properly to set up a fan so I called my property management company today. I cannot wait to really get the project going! We already have ideas for colors and design-we’re going with a teal and pink room and plan to DIY some furniture. I’m so excited and I really need the distraction from well, my paranoid self.  Distraction is a huge issue for me lately-my best friend had to leave town for the past few months so I haven’t been able to see her.  I work nights so calling my friends is kind of difficult when they have opposite schedules. I was finally able to go to a gator game with my husband and MIL this weekend and got my work schedule set up so I can go to more games in the future. Also, I went to the library and got my card fixed so I can start ordering and reading books. Anything to turn my worried thoughts off and focus on the positive.  I could use a drink these days but that’s not happening!

My husband was supposed to upload some pics of baby girl into dropbox but he has not yet (minus 10 daddy points..) so I will return with ultrasound pictures in the near future. I know you will be refreshing your browser in anticipation…

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My Weird Science Experiment


Remember how I was saying I didn’t think pregnancy would change much of anything for me physically? A couple weeks ago I was on my third shift at work and naturally I was very tired but I was turning patients and going about my night like normal. I suddenly felt a gush like maybe I wet myself and went to the bathroom to check really quick. Apparently, I had bleed like 1/4-1/2 cup of thin blood and I immediately told my manager and called the doctor on call at my OB. I ended up giving report to some not-so-excited other nurses and headed to the mother/baby hospital to get checked out. I was sort of in disbelief that it was happening. My husband came to my floor at work and waited for me to give report before he drove me to the other hospital where we got into a fight about where to go because we were stressed and had no idea at first.

When we found the ER at the mother baby hospital it was not very busy and very laid-back which helped us to feel better instantly. However, after the ultrasound tech monitor saw me and used the coolest, most technologically advanced ultrasound ever, she asked me for a urine sample and it was super bloody and blood had thickened…sorry for the gross details, but I thought it might help someone else. The baby was fine and moving all around, the doctors saw me and did an exam and checked my cervix which was closed, thank God. They said it probably was a subchorionic hematoma, where the placenta and uterus slightly separate from each other.  Apparently, it’s pretty common but if they separate too much that could lead to a miscarriage. The doctors put me on bedrest for 24 hours and told me to see my regular OB-luckily, I had an appointment already scheduled with her the next morning. I took my orders very seriously and after a few hours the bleeding had stopped.

My OB said that I needed to stay on bedrest and that I would probably have some brown spotting from the incident. If I started having bleeding like a light period she wanted me to come back in to get a work excuse and remain on bedrest. I went back to work like 3 nights later with no problem, but this time, I was decided not to turn any patients. I have mostly stuck to that and maybe pushed the limit a few times when the patient was a bilateral above the knee amputee and weighed very little. So I have been to work for a total of 4 nights over the past week or so with no issues. Thank God!!! I am very grateful.

Other than that incident, my sinus are on overdrive, my skin is dry, and I pee 2,000 times a day but I feel fine otherwise. Plus, my appetite has been huge lately and I’m enjoying eating a lot. The other day I made Tikki Masala (butter chicken) by’s a big messy process but so goood! Gosh, food is so good. 

I will say that my other symptom is uhh..bitchiness…I tend to get annoyed very easily at certain things. If my mother-in-law says the word “flutter” one more time to describe how the baby moves feels, I’m going to knock her out. Don’t ask me why. She had one baby 30 years ago and I’m pretty sure she thinks she’s an OB-GYN….I know 3/4ths of what I’m saying is the hormones talking though. I have no idea why it sets me off so much.  Also, a patient’s family member drove me absolutely batty and 2 dayshift nurses made me sooo mad! One because of how she left my patient and the other because she expects absolute perfection and nursing is a 24/7 job..sometimes you can’t get 100% of everything done in one night, but you work hard and do the best you can. No matter what you do there’s no making her happy! Oh well though, I still love night shift and I work hard at it even though I’m definitely not an experienced nurse yet.

So the day after my night at the ER, I had my OB appointment and I scheduled an elective gender determination ultrasound that afternoon because I got really impatient and don’t have my 20 week ultrasound until the end of September. I got to see baby move all around and the results were not what I expected but I’m so happy!

IT’S A GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can’t wait for the shopping! So far, we’ve only gotten a few outfits and her room is still basically empty. I’m hoping I can convince my hubs to go to Ikea with me after his work so we can start on organizing some closets in our house to make room for our little girl! We told the grandparents and my sister by going to lunch and bringing a chocolate publix cake that had pink buttercream icing in the middle so that they could all find out. The cake very amazing and of course, the first-time grandparents are thrilled.

There is one thing stressing me out though. At my last OB appointment I got my last vial of blood taken for the quad screen genetic testing. The results should be back any day now. The test basically tests for 4 hormones which can indicate the baby’s risk of having Trisomy 18, Trisomy 21, or other birth defects. I’m just now realizing it’s only a screening test and not 100% accurate and I’m kind of kicking myself for getting the test done at all. So far, it’s just made me nervous from waiting for the results. I doubt I would do any more testing unless my life was at risk which is very rare. Maybe if we can hopefully have another baby we might not get it done again but hubs might want it done for peace of mind. All it’s done for me is stress me out so far. 

Sometimes, I feel like pregnancy is a very weird science experiment. 



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The Spirit is Willing but the Flesh is Pregnant

I always thought that being pregnant wouldn’t be a big deal. So my belly would get bigger and everything else would pretty much be normal.

How very wrong was I.

This pregnancy hasn’t been that bad but I still have a few physical symptoms in my second trimester that remind me that I’m growing an actual human being. 

This weekend I drove to Gainesville to be with my husband for his work Gala. I went early in the day, traffic was nil, the weather was beautiful, got some shopping done, then got all dressed up and ate steak. Not bad at all. 

However, the next day hubs woke up with some sort of plague the company decided to bring with them on this week long ordeal ending in a gala and decided to share it with everyone including remote employees, and the Gainesville, Tampa, and Atlanta office.

So I ended up driving us home early the next morning. For some stupid reason I thought I wasn’t hungry that morning and I started to get this lovely acidy reflux feeling I get in my throat every time I don’t eat something every 2-3 hours. It makes me cough and sometimes it feels like it may not stay down if I don’t eat ASAP. I finally got a soup and sandwich when we got back in town but then I went to sleep because I had to work that night.  

I woke up and didn’t eat anything before work because I wasn’t hungry. I go into work and I’m standing up while getting report on my patients and suddenly start to get very nauseous, dizzy, and flushed. I told the girl I was getting report from that I needed to sit and she got me some water. Then, I started sweating a lot and that felt really gross. 

So I called my manager and told her what happened. She gave me the choice to stay or leave and I hate having to make those decisions. I feel like I’ve missed too much work lately. In the end, I did decide to leave just because I’m not someone that this kind of stuff happens to….I’m tough, damn it. I don’t faint, my stomach isn’t sensitive, and nobody can tell me that I can’t do something! I’ll prove them wrong because I’m stubborn. So, are of these things are kind of…. not as true anymore.

Also, I never used to fall asleep on the couch while watching TV…I had to be flat in my bed. Now I find my eyes starting to close and I’m just like, “fine, whatever..I’m sleeping…now”.

I have a long way to go though since I’m only 14 weeks. Today I made a work schedule that will hopefully be easier to handle and I plan on eating every 2-3 hours regardless of whether or not I’m hungry.

 Acid reflux and fainting….ain’t nobody got time for that. I knows I’s don’t.


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