I’ve taken maternity leave a little earlier than I originally thought I would. Two RNs that have recently had babies on my floor both warned me not to do this because I would miss out on time with the baby. I felt like I was pushing myself too hard at the end especially with our low staffing right now. Also, I care about my patients and want the best for them. I also want the best for my daughter. I found myself asking myself, “What are you doing here?” So I had to bow out at about 37 weeks. I’d like to have another baby in a couple years but I would wait until after my contract is over on my current floor because I find working in critical care extremely emotionally and physically demanding. I’m very lucky that my parents and mother-in-law have agreed to watch Lizzie for me about once a week when I go back to work. I plan working 2 weeknights and 1 weekend night, so daddy would have Lizzie duty on the weekend day and night.
In other news, at my last appointment I found out that Lizzie is still transverse and measuring a bit small. They checked her belly, heart, and kidneys and she is healthy. I’m pretty sure Lizzie has gained at least a pound since her last appointment. I would not at all be surprised-I’m big and I’m hungry! I’m not too worried about her being small and plan on just listening to my body. Because she’s transverse, they scheduled me for a C-section 2 days before her due date. I definitely wanted to avoid a C-section and have been seeing a chiropractor and doing exercises to get her to turn. I don’t think she has turned yet and I’ll continue to crawl and pelvic tilt and all those fun things.
I asked lots of moms for their opinions on what I should do-push back the C-section and wait, or not. I had passionate responses on both sides. One mom wanted me to wait until 42 weeks to see if Lizzie would turn on her own and to join a club that promoted VBACs and prevented C-sections. Some moms had good C-section experiences and some had horrible experiences. One of my RN friends suggest not waiting until after 40 weeks because the placenta starts to deteriorate over time.
I think I’m very moderate when it comes to birth and childrearing. I’m pro vaccines, and vitamin K injections, and screening tests, but I want delayed cord clamping, kangaroo care and breastfeeding attempts as soon as possible after birth. Am I completely against all C-sections? No, I think there are occasions when C-sections are medically necessary and babies might stay transverse or breech for good reasons-like what if the cord is wrapped around the baby’s neck (they checked her heart rate and breathing at my last OB appointment and all was well but this is a huge fear of mine). I think I actually have more negative feelings about getting induced than a scheduled C-section after 39 weeks. Overall, I’m getting really tired of unsolicited advice and judgmental opinions. I asked for feedback and I’m glad people responded to me with their own experiences but I think I need to stop doing certain things. I’m not going to update people who aren’t in my immediate family anymore on my progress and I need to stop going to the babycenter community forum and reading posts.
Moms on the babycenter website are always asking about ways to naturally induce. I understand why they are asking and I sympathize. Many women on there are 40 plus weeks and so tired of being pregnant. Some women ask who are around 37/38 weeks and they get totally reamed for even thinking such a thought. I think that the community should try and educate these women on the benefits of allowing the baby at least 39 weeks to fully develop their heart, lungs, and kidneys. It should be stressed that due dates aren’t a perfect science so it’s better to listen to your own body first and foremost. I just can’t stand the negativity and the reaming other moms. Moms should support each other even if they have different opinions on child birthing and rearing.
Everyone is different and we all need support. I just can’t take reading or hearing anymore unsolicited advice and negativity. It’s hard enough being at the end of a long pregnancy.
Until this baby makes her debut, I’m going to keep distracting myself with chiropractic and OB appointments, grocery trips, possibly a mani/pedi, nesting, and Parks and Recs marathons on netflix. I’m trying to stay strong and not feel guilty over any judgment people may have. I believe in making the best decision for me and my family personally. That’s the best anyone can do.
End rant. I feel better now.